What a difference a year makes...

Thoughts from my journal on 9/06/04...

You knew how I felt, but liked how I made you feel more.
We were selfish and liked it that way.
You challenged me, pushed me pass my boundaries.
I challenged you, made you into someone you wanted to be.
You felt something, I knew you well enough to know.
I thought it was my time, the start of something real.
I loved the way you believed in me, but hated your doubt in us.
I wasn't smart enough. You were afraid.
I wasn't quiet enough. You were intimidated.
I wasn't pretty enough. You were concerned with you.
Somehow, I just wasn't enough.
My confidence weakened as yours grew strong and I was left at the bottom.
I was left insecure, confused, and more alone than when I started.
I stayed there, thinking you would come pick me up.
Much like I did for you so many times before.
As I stayed broken, you found something better.
I was replaceable. I was replaced.
Nothing has hurt me like that before.
Nothing has hurt me like that since.
I hope you never hurt like that.

The title of this entry says it all. What a different a year makes. It blows my mind that I still felt that much. I can't believe I still devoted that much of myself towards that chapter of my life only one year ago. The fact that I now rarely think about that situation and even, at times, consider it a positive time of change tells me a lot about the power of prayer. Can I get an AMEN!!

On a completely different note... I'd just like to go on record saying that the 340 million dollar Powerball jackpot is just ridiculous! What in the holy frijoles would one person do with 340 million dollars. No one needs that kind of money. Ever. HOWEVER... that will not stop me from spending 4 laundry quarters on a ticket at the local Super America! :)

Goodnight friends,
Temp