Green grass grows all around...

Hello again,

I feel as if we just spoke, yet I am filled to the brim with things to speak about again. I know I have mentioned it before, but I like to write to you as if we were already in the middle of a conversation. It is somehow comforting knowing that we can pick up from where we left off. Thanks for that.

We have all heard the classic "...grass is always greener..." cliche, but rarely do I take the meaning of that overused phrase to heart. Nine times out of ten my grass, in my opinion, is the greenest... or at least no less green than the grasses of those around me. Tonight, however, I struggle to keep up that confidence. Tonight, I am finding it hard to sustain the "I love my own grass" mentality. This sudden dip in self-confidence is brought about by many different aspects of my life. I am continuously awe-struck by the residents that I serve at work, but I can't help but envy those of my friends who spend the school years with children and the summers with a good book and a Mai-Tai. Although I grow wiser with each passing day working with the elderly.... I can't help but think there are pearls of childhood wisdom that I am daily missing out on. It is that lack of wisdom combined with my next confidence-dwindling fact that causes my well-manicured lawn to appear a bit on the brown side. This weekend is the wedding of a dear friend of mine...a dear friend, mind you, that I have quite a history with. Don't get me wrong... that specific chapter of my life has been closed for a while, but at a time like this, I can't help but open it back up and give it a good once over before promptly closing it once again. Now, in realizing I should invest in some sort of padlock for said chapter, I have come to terms with the fact that this will be interesting event to say the least. I am extremely happy for this friend of mine, but his upcoming nuptials are yet another reminder that the only thing upcoming in my life is the thick line of vanilla scented smoke billowing from the candle I just blew out. Bebo Norman said it best in his lyrics "Today I woke up early, Today I woke up sad. It's funny how it hurts me this love I've never had." I talk often of the joys of being 23 and single, but when people you love (or loved...*ahem*...) are finding the joys of being 23 and married... it's pretty difficult to muster up the strength to keep watering that lawn.

Confidence is a crazy game. I've always been a confident girl. Even as a child I would make friends, break hearts, and dominate on the Teatherball court. It is now, in the real world, that I find confidence to be the hardest to gain and easiest to lose. My challenge for you, for me... for all of us... is to continue to maintain our grass. No matter what the neighbors lawn may look like or how brown ours may seem... with a little drop of confidence...the Grass can only get greener.

Blessings,
Tempa