Friends,

My blogs are full of many things... opinion, sarcasm, introspection, wit... but the one thing that guides this freight train of thoughts and words along it's cyber-track is truth.

Honesty.

My blogs are always honest.

Tonight is no exception.

I realize it was a comment made in passing and no real harm was intended (or done, for that matter). I realize that had this person known I was nearby, the comment would not have even been made... although I'm not sure if that fact numbs or scortches the burn. I realize that the truth is better than a lie or even a sugar coated fib anyday... but for some reason hearing (or not hearing in this case) a truth about me... a truth that I already knew full well... did something to me. It affected me somehow, in a way most comments can not.

I’m not one to feign perfection or dwell in my inadequacies. I see myself for what I am, there's no harm in that. I am me and in my estimation... it’s nothing extraordinary.

If you asked someone who knows me to describe me, nine times out of ten they will comment on my personality. They say “She’s funny.” or “She has a good heart."... "She's a lot of fun" or "She's a blast." All of which are true, or so I've been told. I am kinda funny, and my heart is more good than otherwise. I do enjoy fun more than the alternative and, although I'm not entirely certain what being a "blast" would entail, chances are I'm up there with the best of them. But for some reason my blood boils as those phrases hit my eardrums. For some reason, I loathe those specific accolades. We are always quick to mention personality when we’re forced to say something nice about the plain.

“I have a friend I’d like you to meet?’

“Yeah, well, what’s she like?”

“She’s _______.” (insert any of the aforementioned adjectives)

“Uhh, I think I have to walk my neighbors puggle that night.”

That’s precisely what happens—minus the puggle part... I added that for dramatic effect. I know they say otherwise, but quality of heart and ability to make people laugh aren't usually on the top of a Man's list of Must-Have's. In general, most men opt for sophistication, grace, and...yes...physical beauty.

Men are, by nature, visual creatures... it's in their wiring. And I respect that.

I respect that, but I also understand that’s why I'm alone. I understand that's why she didn't know what to say when he inquired about more than personality.

Facts are facts.

Silence is silence.

I am who I am.

C’est la vie.