Treasures...

Good evening friends,

One of my favorite verses in Scripture is Matthew 6:19-21. "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth... but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven...for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I constantly find myself staring blankly at an unlined page of my journal wishing I could somehow relate that verse to my life and transfer it onto the page in some poetic fusion of melody and lyrics. (NOTE TO SELF: 'Poetic Fusion' would be a pretty great title for an album.) I take the verse to heart on a daily basis (repeating Matthew 6:19-21 in my head has proven very helpful while perusing the taunting aisles of the local Target store!), but can't seem to put it into song. For one who pretty much puts EVERYTHING into song (including memories of 7th grade keyboarding class and the Oregon Trail)... this has become rather frustrating.

SO, to put a slight dent in my frustration... I have decided that it's time for yet another list! A list of my "treasures", if you will. By no means is this a complete list, but it's what I could come up with at 10:31 on a Saturday night while eating a partially cooked calorie-infested pot-pie and watching reruns of SNL. Feel free to add on in the comments section :)

Honesty
Childhood innocence
Imagination
Harmony
Prayer
Conversation
Joy
Peace
The destination
Laughter
Hearing "I love you"
Saying "I love you"
Learning something new
Reminiscing
Comfort
Adoration
Worship
The journey
Rest

Speaking of Rest... that's where I'm off to. I hope this entry finds you well.
Blessings,
Tempa

Poli-what?

Hi there,

Now, I realize that me talking about politics is pretty much as likely as hell freezing over, but you better call up Lucifer and let him know to break out the parka cause it's about to get a little chilly down there!

What is the deal with Pat Robertson?! I'll admit, TV evangelists kinda creep me out and I have never watched more than 5 minutes of the 700 Club, but this guy has got to be kidding!

"...I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it..."

WHAT??? What kind of messed up minister would not only condone, but suggest murder as a viable option. I am disgusted to think that impressionable people...not even just young people, people in general... watch and hear things like that only to transfer that ridiculously hypocritical, seemingly "Holier than thou" attitude onto Christians as a whole. As a minister, you are called to uphold the word of God. You are called to bring forth the truth and any minister or anyone at all for that matter who condones the murder of another human being is not reading the same truths as the rest of us. Unless, of course, the rest of us are interpreting "Thou shalt not kill" to mean something very different than what the Creator had intended. (Note: Sarcasm)

It's true, I dont know much about the specifics of what Mr. Robertson said yesterday and I don't really know anything about the specifics of what exactly he was talking about... but I do know that his antics, well, they pretty much sucked. And I hope that readers of this blog and others realize that his opinions do not reflect the opinions of Christians as a whole, nor do they do justice to the absolute truth of the Lord.

That's all from me.
In the immortal words of Cher Horowitz...I'm Outie~
Tempa :)

More of the same...

I had a good friend of mine ask me last night where I have been hiding. He was a little worried about me. It seems I haven't 'blogged' in quite some time... well... at least it's been a while in comparison to how often I usually cast my thoughts into the endless electronic abyss. No need to worry, friends, I am alive and well. Just busy. Today, however, as I am confined to eight hours in the admissions office of the nursing home that employs me, I thought I would write a little of what I have been thinking of lately. Shocked?? I thought not.
I realize that the majority of my entries are about faith, love, or the lack there of and this entry will be no different. Sorry to all my male readers... and by "all my male readers", I mean Christian.

Ok, my thoughts...
Speaking from personal experience, I know that most single women hyperventilate or break out into hives when it comes to something like buying tires or killing the far-too-large multi-legged insect on the ceiling. Single women like to go out on the town, but not if they will be going out on the town with not-so-single women and their counterparts. If we choose the "safe bet" and stay home alone to watch TV, even that is no escape. On any given night, on any given channel, popular television will have more sexual innuendo than any one person needs to indulge in, in an entire lifetime (let alone half an hour!) Let's face it...couples are in, and singleness is out. It's that way in 2005 and it's been that way since the Garden. Adam was blessed with Eve because our Creator knew that it was not good for man to be alone. Unfortunately, my rib-providing man appears to be nowhere on the horizon.

Coping with singleness is pretty much an everyday thing. You simply have to take it one day at a time. You learn to deal with the situation at hand and go on with your lives... still waiting for "the one." There are times when you're doing great. Thankful that you aren't spending every weekend with your nose in the 3-inch thick Martha Stewart wedding planner portfolio and very aware that you can sleep till noon on Saturdays if you want. It is only when you're riding high on the singles wave when that wedding invitation from a "friend" arrives in the mail. You know what I'm talking about! The "friend" you knew would never get married. Now, they are not only getting married, but they are getting married before you even start dating! Mixed with disappointment, resentment, anger, and yes, I'll admit it, jealousy, you trudge to the local Walgreens to find a card to represent your "elation" (translationon: joy covered hatred). In your own selfish pain, you actually buy the mushiest card available because you still hold tight to the knowledge that your prince or princess will soon be arriving on the scene. You go to the ceremony (alone, mind you) and deep down you really are happy for your friend. Granted, a little sad that it isn't you, but you know that once you find your mate, your match, your "one"... you'll be fine. For every Jill there is a Jack. For every Santa there is a Mrs. Claus. A friend of mine often states that her "Mr. Right" is obviously lost and won't stop for directions. I'm working under the assumption that mine is with hers. Anyway... after the surprisinglyly nice reception, you revise your "They'll never beat me down the aisle" list and confidently forge the road ahead. It is upon the realization that you are sitting in your living room (with your one cat that will no doubt soon multiply into 20) living out the stereotypical old-maid role you never intended to play, that you slip into the deppressing, self-loathing role of Adult Single. Reality Check!

Herein lies the problem... while nearly all singles have bought into the idea that a spouse would complete them, no man or woman on earth can fulfill all our needs and desires. Now I know we know that in our minds, but try explaining that to me when there is a far-too-large multi-legged insect on my ceiling. Although the truth of the "God-shaped hole" seems to permeate my life, I still get caught up in the worldy message of "Coupled and Complete". Foolish Foolish me. Here's the thing, there are so many opportunities to utilize in this season of life. The season of singlenessss, that is. I let most, if not all, of those opportunities fall through the cracks because, quite honestly, my pity party gets in the way. I have the "gift" (*slight eye roll*) of singleness, but that doesn't lessen the pain of too many lonely days and longing for a shoulder to rest upon in the quiet hours of a dark night. Sometimes, it seems we have been alone forever. We are desperate for someone to love and to love us back. At times, I find myself relating to the concept of "Well, they aren't so bad." But I want more for my life... and shouldn't we all?

It comes down to the fact that we have to truly want to experience God's best for us and choose to strive for nothing less. I know it's not easy. Actually, I know it's downright hard. But, I also know that His best for us is not dating the "not so bad". It is not us reading less-than-uplifting romance novels or mindlessly watching TV dramas, wishing the fantasy world that appears before us will soon be ours. I think the key is to choose...this minute...to catch the vision of what our purpose really is. Being single can, of course, be hard, depressing, and even extremely unpleasant at times, but if we step away from the "woe is me" mentality, there are so many incredible blessings and opportunities to explore. We have to learn to truly recognize the glass as half full. I've discovered that while finding my "happily ever after" is important to me, it really is not the primary reason for my existence.

So... for those just stepping out into adulthood alone, open your hearts and your minds to embrace Christ through it all. Because what I have learned is that the gift of singleness is in fact a gift. It's the love that surrounds us but so often gets displaced by our fast paced lives and images of grandeur. Although singleness appears to be a cross to bear, we all are daily called to pick up our cross and follow Christ. The comfort in this is that the Lord promises that His yoke is easy. He promises His burden is light. So, when singleness becomes too heavy to bear. Stop. Lay it down. Give it up.

I'm not saying this will relieve you of all feelings of lonliness, or take away for good the longing for companionship, but the days may suddenly seem far less lonely and the nights less dark. And...somehow...that 8-legged monster on the ceiling is not so difficult to squash.

Blessings,
Tempa

Hi there friends,

It's the weekend! Can I get an AMEN!!! I don't have anything deep or insightful to speak of tonight, but I did yank these questions off of a blog I stumbled across the other day. I liked them. To whomevers blog that was... Thanks for the thoughts. To those of you who may answer these questions... you're welcome :)

What are the 3 stupidest things you've ever done in your life?
1. Freshman year "Drinking Phase"
2. Got out of my (2-door) car to let someone out of the back seat w/out putting it in park.
3. 10-27-03 and intentionally not responding to what I know I was being directed to do.

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?
-Currently, I'd say it is myself. Maybe that sounds a bit selfish or prideful or whatever, but it's true. Granted, Christ always has the MOST influence in my life, being that I try to make all my decisions according to His will... but I am still the one making said decisions... so yeah... it's me. I have the most influence in my life. :)

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up five people to dine with, who would you pick?
- For a conversation filled, intellectual kind of dinner I would choose Anne Frank, W.A. Mozart, Abe Lincoln, Job (from the Bible) and... assuming this time machine can go both to the past AND the future... some distant relative of mine who grew up hearing stories of her crazy great great grandma Tempa and has always wished she had known me in person.


4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
1. To be financially stable without having to worry about it
2. To not have to work so hard at getting to the point of looking physically how I feel mentally
3. To have a higher reading comprehension ability

5. Someone is visiting your town. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.
- Um... I recently moved to the cities, so I can't really answer this. I'm not too sure what things we do and don't have. PLUS... I'm fairly certain you can find just about anything you're looking for. ALTHOUGH... you should definitely avoid the Mall of America on the weekends and Cedar Avenue at rush hour.

6. Name one event that has changed your life.
- Adulthood.


That's all from me, folks. Feel free to leave your answers as comments on this entry. I would love to get a sample of your thoughts for a change...

Love in an Elevator~
Tempa
(that song has been in my head ALL DAY!)

My protection

Good evening friends,

OK, lately I have been a little reflective. Shocked?? Me either. I have been thinking about how God woos us, wins us, loves us and keeps us for Himself. I can't even count how many times...Who am I kidding, yes I can. It's 3. Three times...God has worked on my heart by breaking it. It seems I just can't learn any other way. Actually... with 3 times and counting... maybe I'm not really learning this way either ;) I will be the first to admit to you that I am a romantic. A Soft-hearted, warm blooded Romantic. There's no shame in that... but it often causes me to attempt to fill the emptiness in my life with the wrong things. In one...or three... particular instances, that "wrong thing" came in the form of a man -- the wrong man. Not to dig up everything from my past... but the whole situation was very much like Dawson and Joey on Dawson's Creek.

Katie Holmes (now of Tom cruise fame) plays Joey, the good, angst ridden girl next door, and James VanDerBeek plays Dawson, the puppy-dog eyed teen from down the creek. Friends since childhood, it only makes sense that they are together. Knowing about each other's awkward days, knowing the deepest insights into each other... Joey and Dawson found happiness in letting their relationship progress to the next level. From friends to Romance in only 1 season! My story involves a boy who was close to the Lord, he met with older men for spiritual council and was a leader in the local student ministry. That, on top of the fact that we had been best friends for years, made the relationship progression incredibly natural. The friendship progressed, but I didn't think to talk about it. I just let it happen without seeing if our thoughts on the situation were mutual. When we kissed the first time, I was overwhelmed. Was this really happening? He was so good-looking. I truly knew him and I knew that he truly knew me. Plus, he was so good looking (did I say that already?) . At the tough, but tender age of 17... he awakened something in me. I felt more alive somehow. I felt loved and that was amazing. We were "involved" for a drama-filled two years before I finally wised up to his not-so-faithful heart. Throughout it all, I pursued him far more than he pursued me and although he somehow made me feel like I was the only girl he was kissing in his conversion van... I knew deep down he didn't truly love me. I knew he didn't love me, but there was a part of me that could not fathom that as much as I felt for him, he did not feel the same way too.

In retrospect I absolutely know now that this man's lack of love (and that of the two similar cases in the years following) was God's protection. These men, although kind hearted and seemingly the answer, weren't God's choice for me. Yet God -- as He always does -- has used time and truth to continue to heal the wreckage. In lyrics to a song I wrote as a high school senior about the above mentioned suitor, I say "you stole my fragile heart and dropped it on the floor/I picked up the pieces, dusted them off and gave them to you for more". My God as taken inventory of each one of those pieces and continues to form and mold my heart. Although I understand that breaking my heart has been God's way of protecting it, reflecting upon these chapters of my life does bring me some amount of sadness. I would be liar if I told you any differently, but, for me anyway, beyond that sadness is just more love. Love that is continually restored due to the love of my Creator.

Ok. So my point was not to rehash old heartaches or to creep you out by relating my life to that of 35-yea-old actors from a late 90's TV drama. My point was to let you know that you are not alone in the hope for romantic intimacy. You are not the only one who gets a little creeped out when the people you wrongly labeled as "unmarriable" walk down the aisle. You are not alone in picturing yourself in front of the white picket fence surrounded by your loving family (much like the opening credits to "Growing Pains") and then realizing you live in a 1 bedroom apartment with your cat. Basically, you are not the only one waiting. HOWEVER... while we're waiting... it is my hope that we not ignore the way God has protected and shaped our lives. It is my prayer that we recognize that we are placed here with purpose (1 Corinthians 7:17, Psalm 138:8, Proverbs 19:21...etc...) even if "here" isn't where we thought we would be.

Goodnight,
tempa