it came at a price

Hi there,

Good news. I am feeling much better today. That may have something to do with the 10 hours of sleep I got last night or the entire gallon of pulp free orange juice I drank in the last 24 hours. I'm surprised that I'm not peeing orange this morning!

Ok, so... I want to talk about something that came to my mind during my quiet time last night. I hope I can articulate my thoughts on the matter in a way that is at least quasi understandable, but I apologize in advance if that doesn't quite happen. So.... you know how everyone always says the best things in life are free? That's a really good cliche to use when you're atop a mountain in Colorado watching an autumn sunrise or as your lying on a blanket in the park with that special someone watching shooting stars in the summer sky. Those are great things, but I don't know if I would classify them as the "best things in life". Although... I'm sure if you asked me if those were the best things in life while I was atop a mountain or with my (currently non-existent) boyfriend watching the sky... I would say Yes. But I would be wrong. I would definitely agree with the fact that all the really good meaningful experiences in life often come without a certain monetary attatchment, like friendships and conversations and all the things I usually talk about in this blog. But I would have to say that the best thing in life, the very best thing that has happened to my life... came at quite a price. Salvation. It says in 1 Corinthians "You are not your own; you were bought at a price." That's the truth. Everyone knows of John 3:16, For he gave His only son.... etc...etc. Somehow, unfortunately, that has become a cliche in itself, I think. But it's true. God gave the life of His only son for me, for my life. Christ ended his life on earth so that I can begin mine and when I actually sit down and think about that... it blows my mind.

So yes... the good things in life ARE free. The things that we wrote in our diaries as children and the things that we whispered in the ears of our best friends as teens are most often free. The things we long to experience as adults and the things we remember experiencing when we're old are most often free. But the best thing in life. The VERY best thing that has happened in our lives. The one thing that makes our lives worth living in the first place.... came at a price. For that, I am joyful. For that, I am thankful. For that... I am Yours.

Blessisngs,
Tempa

Ick

Hey there,

I don't have much to write tonight. Not only am I running on about 4 hours of (inconsistent) sleep... I'm running on a bit of a fever, too. I don't think I could tell you the last time I had a fever. Actually, I could. Junior Year when Sarah had to cart my bum off to the doctors office. BUT... other than that... I haven't been sick in FOREVER! I don't know how many of you know this, but I think I hold the record for consecutive years gone without puking. Let's see... I'll be 23 in April and the last time I tossed my proverbial cookies was all over the doctor's office when I was 7. That's almost 16 years, ladies and gents. 16 glorious, vomitless years ;)

Yes, I did just knock on this wooden desk. Don't laugh. You would have too.

So, American Idol, huh?? I think that talking about the new season falls well under the "Ick" label I put in the subject line. I won't talk about these people much, but for the love of everything that is good in this world... what are they thinking?!?!?! I've heard monkeys that sing better than some of those people. And no... I don't just say that because I have a bit of a attatchment to monkeys. I wonder what kind of friends these people have. You know, the people that go to auditions and actually think they are good. Who tells them they are good? Maybe I'm just one of those "honesty is always the best policy" people, but if I had a friend who thought they could sing and couldn't... I wouldn't let them embarrass themselves on national TV. I guess they are on TV though, and that's enough for them.

Ok, well... Im gonna get to sleep. My head is getting heavier by the minute and I'm still kinda uncomfortable from that whole hot inside, cold outside fever feeling. I hope all of you out there in the world wide web are having a wonderful week.

Blessings,
Tempa

PS... thanks for all the people who have complemented this blog recently!! It's very kind of you and I appreciate it!

Hello friend.

Hello friend,

I like to write these blog entries as if we were already in the middle of a conversation. As if this were just another talk amidst a long train of meaningful chatter. Yet another conversation in a long-time friendship. I know that the only people who will see this are those of you who choose to read my writing and the innocent passers-by who happen to stumble upon it while searching for something else, but, I guess, the idea of writing to a friend makes the vastness of this electronic void just a little bit smaller... a little closer.

Tonight, I find myself sitting at my computer with so much to say and not so much time to say it in. I want to talk about movies and music and photography and art...and so many other little bits of nothings that move me in a way I find indescribable. I want to talk about sunsets and snowfalls and laughter and friendship... and all kinds of other amazing gifts that my ramblings don't even begin to do justice. I want to talk about love and life and the heart warming fact that neither one can live without the other. I want to talk about love and life and the gut wrenching fact that sometimes it feels as if they can't coexist at all. I want to talk about dreams, and fears, pasts, and futures. I want to talk about wishes and wants and ideas and thoughts. Needless to say, I want to talk about many things, yet can't seem to muster up the words or the strength to talk about any of them.

What I will talk about, however, is something that has been on my heart for quite some time. Waiting. Waiting is something that is inevitable in all our lives. Something that no one can escape, yet everyone will try. Something that seems so simple in theory, yet is so painfully difficult in it's execution. We wait for so many things in our lives. We wait for love, for jobs, for that "next step". We wait for a letter in the mail, for that phone call after a night out. We wait for our train, our plane, our subway stop. We wait for our Grande Skim Caramel Macchiatto and over-priced lemon square. We wait for something exciting to happen and then we wait for the excitement to subside. At some point... in everyday... we find ourselves waiting for something. We wait impatiently and hopefully. We wait with fear and we wait with baited breath. Regardless.... we wait. I guess what I will say to those of you who came to read this... and even to those of you who have clumsily stumbled across my little corner of the world, is this... whatever it is you're wanting... whatever it is your heart is yearning for... don't be afraid to wait for it. It only makes the moment you receive it greater. It makes that moment a little more worth the wait.

Goodnight friend,
Tempa

basic thoughts :)

Good evening dear friends,

Wouldn't it be funny if we talked like that on a daily basis? Sometimes (and by sometimes I mean all the time) Betsy and I greet each other with long, drawn out, eloquent sentences and pet names. For instance... I would begin with "Good evening, my soft, silent snowfall upon a billowing midwestern wheat field." To which Betsy would reply... "And good eve to you, my newly sharpened number two pencil with a worn eraser due to recent mistakes on my husband's tax forms." I think it would be marvelous if everyone always talked like that. Maybe not as pointless and...well..stupid, but it would be great if we spoke as eloquently as they did back in the day. I'd like it... but maybe that's just me.

So, I'm still finding myself jobless. This whole job search is certainly not as simple as it may seem. I'm either not qualified enough or too qualified. Not enough experience or too much experience. Goodness! Can't a girl cut a break in this world?? ;) Again, though.... I find myself trusting in God's sovereignty. It's a hard thing to do, but necessary. I stress... Hard... but necessary. I found out about some opportunities in Nashville, Tennessee and I'm seriously considering looking to them. What a fun place to live!! And what a great time in my life to live there! If you're reading this... include this job hunt thing in your prayers. Not just for me... for everyone that's hunting for jobs :)

Ok, I am off to read Betsy's blog. I thought I had stuff to write about... but I really don't. Oops :)

In Him,
tempa!

thoughts from a film...

Tonight, I could easily sit and write a novel or two about what I am feeling and thinking, and living right now. Writing what we feel and think... writing what we live... just seems like such a natural thing to do on these blogs. Blogging seems so second-nature. Betsy, Christian and I often talk about fun it is to blog and to put your thoughts out there for all to read (even though this 'all' consists of betsy and christian). Like I said, tonight I could easily come up with endless sentences on what is going on in my head, but I don't think I want to. Shocking, I know. But what I do want to do is quote a movie that I know many of you are all too familiar with. The story of Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly. The story of pure, old-fashioned romance. A story that I, personally, fall in love with each time I watch it. And coincidentally... this small (yet meaningful) monologue kinda sums up what I am feeling and thinking, and living...

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but circumscribed. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So goodnight, dear void."

Goodnight, dear void~
Tempa

Time in a bottle...

You know that old song "If I could save time in a bottle..."?? I think it's by Jim Croce or James Taylor or some other raspy-voiced, gray-haired, hippie rocker. Anyway, for some reason that song has been in my head for the last few hours. I've only heard the song maybe 10 times total and 8 of those times were when I taught it to a 7th grade voice student a few summers ago (FYI: it's got a really simple melody, easy for those with pitch problems!) Anyway, there is no real reason why that song should be playing like a broken record in my mind. For some reason, though, I can't make it stop.

"If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do is save everyday till eternity passes away just to spend them with you...."

The song carries on about how there's not enough time in the day to spend with your true love and how if said hippie rocker could just save time in this bottle (likely to have been recently emptied of it's mind-mumbling alcohol) than he would be happy and content because he could just spend all that saved time with the one he is meant to be with.

As saptatstic and wonderful as that may sound, it's got me thinking. What if we could save time in a bottle?? Let's say the good Lord came down to me tomorrow and asked me if I would like to freeze the next year of my life in some sort of celestial time capsule (aka: "bottle") . Would I say yes?? At first thought... Heck Yeah, I'd say Yes. I'd say yes, hug the kind sir, and then call all of my friends to tell them about the sweet deal I just got from God. At second thought (which is usually when all my good, intelligent thoughts come around)... I would say no. Before you think I'm completely out of my gourd here, let me explain. Let's take the same sweet deal... God comes down from the golden heavens, asks me the same question, only this time it was a year ago today. A year ago today, He asks if I would like to save my time in a bottle. In thinking back over the last year of my life. I can't think of a single thing that I would like to re-live. I mean, sure I had some awesome times. Graduation, Upstairs/downstairs war with the roommates, Seatback, my baptism... the list could go on for quite some time. Although all of those things were great and I loved them at the time, I wouldn't want to a single one of them over. I wouldn't want to reenact anything that I already acted in the first place. I can also think of a quabillion things I don't want to remember about the past year. We dont even need to get into those. Anyway, my point is....

Jim Croce sings this beautiful song about saving his time in a bottle. We hear all the time about how time flies. I guess what I'm saying is that time doesn't need to be saved because if you kept the old you in a bottle somewhere, you'll never be able to grow into the new you. If we keep dreaming and holding onto the times that were, we'll never be able to experience the times that will be. I say... let time fly. Let the hours feel like seconds, days like minutes. Live each one of those minute-like days, but live them to the fullest. Experience them. Jesus says in John 10:10 "I have come so that they may have life and have it to the full!!"

People always say "Don't blink or you'll miss it". I say... Let's blink, because when we open our eyes... we'll be right where God intends us to be!

Let's chat

Hello there,

It's been quite a while since I have updated this here blog. I was in Iowa last week and I just haven't had the time yet this week to update. Call me a bad blogger, I deserve it. BUT... I am here to redeem myself. Although, at this point, I am completely unaware of what I will be blogging about tonight. I'm fairly certain it will be a general outpouring of my thoughts at the present time, so who knows where this may lead??:-)

First, let's talk about the weather. I know everyone always says that you only talk about the weather when there's nothing else to talk about. Like the weather is some sort of be-all-end- all last resort of conversation, but this time I really want to talk about the weather. Honestly, what's going on in the world?? I mean, first the horrible tsunami... which in itself is completely unthinkable... and then this massive snow and ice storm sweeps across the midwest, then there is this crazy mudslide in California and for the last two days it's been like 65 degrees in Cleveland, but the high is below the the freezing mark for tomorrow. How weird is that??? I wonder what's going on. If pollution and all the crap we put into this world is coming back to bite us in the bum, or if weather really is just some crazy unpredictable phenomenon that no one can really understand. I know that a quabillion people will be all pissy about me saying this... but even though all this destruction and craziness is happening world wide (and don't get me wrong... it is horrible) I hope people can find comfort in the sovereignty of the Lord. He controls even the weather, so there's a reason behind everything... even things that seem impossible for us to understand.

Sovereignty. That is something that has been tough for me to grasp lately. One of my favorite verses in scripture has always been Jeremiah 29:11. ""For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."" When ever I have felt uneasy about my future, I have always turned to Jeremiah for comfort. When I was nervous about college, or anxious about finding "the one". Whatever the case was... I was always comforted by God's promise in Jeremiah. For some reason, now, that promise isn't quite cutting it. The worst thing is... it should. Now, as I stand motionless in this weird entryway to adulthood, God's promises should be the only things that 'cut it'. Now, my hope in Christ should be the only thing that keeps me going. Not my hope for a job, or my hope for a cool apartment, or anything. Just Christ. Christ and the promise that the Lord has a plan for me. A plan for me to prosper and a plan for my future, regardless of whether or not that plan has any similarities with the plan I have so selfishly made for myself. That's the whole concept behind sovereignty and the whole reason it's tough for me to understand completely. God is in control. 100%, complete, ultimate, with out a doubt, no matter how much I try or want or pray.... control. Whatever will be, will be... and not because God is a unchanging, closeminded, egotistical, "I run the world" god, but because he is an amazing, loving, dependable, "I've got it under control" God with a plan that has been perfectly created for my life. Because He is a "No need to worry" God that knows how many hairs are on my head and knows what my tomorrow brings even if I don't. Because He is God. It's as simple and as complicated as that.

Alright, now that I have talked a whole lot about what has been on my mind lately. I should head upstairs and get to bed. I have to work tomorrow and I shouldn't be dragging my tail around Hallmark all day. It's not good for business :)

In Christ Alone~
tempa

sus favoritos

Hello out there to all those lost in the web~

I could talk a lot today about how not having a job and not knowing the future is so easily turning from a really cool thing to a really scary thing... BUT.... That's the saga of so many people's lives right now and if that's the most of my worries I should count my blessings!

So instead... I will compile a short list of my current favorite things. I know that sounds dumb, but it's kind of fun to share that stuff with others. In the spirit of the "interactive blog", the thing that so many of my friends have started, I will ask you (the reader) to share with me (the writer) YOUR favorites as well! Just click on the ole' comment button and hit me up with sus favorites! ;)

Ok... Let's rock...

Favorite color: Chocolate Brown
Favorite movie: GARDEN STATE!!
Favorite song: The garden state Soundtrack.... Primarily numbers 5,6,11, and 12 :)
Favorite TV show: Real World/Road Rules: Battle of the Sexes 2 (what am I, 17??)
Favorite word: Conniption, as in "I hope my Mom doesn't have a conniption"
Favorite scent: Yankee candle in Island Mango
Favorite actor: Zach Braff
Favorite actress: Jennifer Garner
Favorite beverage: Ice water (more ice than water!) in my Nalgene

Ok, I think that's all for now! Tell me tell me... what's yours?? :)

Love,
Tempa

Amazing!

Hi friends,

I don't have much to write about today, except I would feel like I am withholding something from you if I didn't talk about an amazing movie I rented and watched today. "Garden State" starring Natalie Portman and Zach Braff (he's the dude from Scrubs). He wrote and produced it, too. First off, Zach Braff is extremely attractive (although I'm sure none of my close friends will agree with me on that one!). Secondly, Natalie Portman is great in this movie (sometimes I think she's annoying... like in the Walmart baby movie, which I have shamefully seen many many times). Third, the script is unbelievable. With the exception of the quasi-over-used F-Bomb, it's amazing. Very real, and connectable... which, I think, is what makes or breaks a movie like this one. I don't really want to talk about the plot or the story or anything that will ruin the movie for other people, so I'll leave all that out. However, I do want to share some of the more memorable lines from the movie. Like I said, the script was amazing.

"We may not always be as happy as you always dreamed we'd be, but for once, let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are."

"This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else you'll be remembered as the one guy who ever did this.. this one thing"

"You've changed my life. You've changed my life and I've known you for four days."

"How you feeling?"
"Safe... with you, I feel safe...like I'm home."

"If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like."

"You gotta hear this song. It will change your life, I promise you."


Anyway... rent the movie. It's a good one!

Love,
tempa

I wish for you...

Hello and Happy New Year!! I was talking to a good friend last night and we were discussing the irrelevance of the New year Holiday. Really, what's the big deal?? It's the first day of a new year. If that's the case, shouldn't the first hour of each new day be a similar occasion? Shouldn't we have some sort of ball-drop every day at midnight? 5...4...3...2...1... HAPPY TUESDAY!!!!!!!! It just seems a little excessive, the whole idea of New Years. I mean, don't get me wrong, I will continue to celebrate each year as that ball made of lightbulbs slowly descends upon Times Square... but I still don't really see the point.

Regardless of my personal feelings towards the subject, it is 2005, the New Year. A time of new starts and resolutions. A time when ambition is high and doubt is rarely seen. In this time of wishing and hoping and dreaming... (don't lie, I bet you just started singing the song at the beginning of My Best Friend's Wedding!)... I wish for you a few things. This year, in 2005, I wish for you joy. Unfathomable, endless, fill-your-heart joy. Joy that causes sporadic outbursts of uncontrolled dancing. Joy that causes top-of-your-lungs singing with the radio, even if you don't know the words. Joy that, at the mere thought of your happiness, makes you giggle like a school girl. In 2005, I wish for you luck. Luck that comes out of nowhere. Luck that, when explaining it to others, can be described in only one word: "Awesome". In 2005, I wish for you grace. Grace that allows you to apologize and understand what you are apologizing for. Grace that allows you to forgive, even when forgiveness doesn't seem like an option. Above all else, though, I wish for you love. The kind of love that hurts a little when it's gone. The kind of love that makes everything else around seem meaningless. In 2005, I wish for you the kind of love that will last far past 2005.

Blessings and a Happy New Year!
Tempa